Mystical Kratom: A Mystifying Brand for a Cynical Market

March 29, 2019 Articles, Kratom Research, Kratom Reviews, Kratom Strains, Kratom Vendors

I’ve talked a lot about amateurish homepages and desperately garish company logos, but nothing has come close to what I witnessed when I first heard about Mystical Kratom. In a marketplace overrun with shady vendors and subpar brands, this one really took the cake.

Today we’ll take a look at just what makes this vendor a laughing stock and why users should avoid it if they can.

Enter at your own risk.

MYSTICAL KRATOM REVIEW

First off, let’s make sure that there is no confusion here. We are NOT talking about Mystic Island Kratoms or Kratom Mystic, two vendors with the grave misfortune of having similar monikers.

Mystical Kratom is its own brand and, perhaps (?), its own company. I say perhaps because no official website exists for Mystical Kratom and the only evidence of a company behind it is an old post on Smoke Talk.

The Smoke Talk post claims that they are a new kratom company located in Atlanta, GA. No Mystical Kratom smoke shop exists in the Georgia area. Unlike the aforementioned vendor who offers a Mystic Island kratom coupon, there are no promo codes available for Mystical Kratom online.

WHAT HAVE THEY GOT?

Mystical Kratom appears to be offered exclusively through K-Ray’s Crazy Deals online. It is here that I got my first glimpse at their laughable brand. Their logo looks like something straight out of a Troma movie. A goofy-looking amateur in a cheap fake beard wielding a trident and some pretty boy in a horned viking helmet beneath the company logo.

Beneath this rather large and awkward ad are the words “The Finest Leaf KRATOM OF THE ANCIENTS The Finest Products.” Is this legit? Decide for yourself.

Mystical Kratom’s product line consists of three items—Loki Bali kratom capsules, Athena Maeng Da powder and Apollo Bali powder. Obviously, these are just fancy names ripped from Greek mythology and nothing else.

As for their quality, it’s anybody’s guess. The product description promises the best quality Kratom leaves, but no information is given about where they were sourced from or whether they have been lab tested for purity or contamination.

WHAT’S IT GONNA COST ME?

Each of these products are sold for $9.95 a piece which seems more than a little sketchy when one considers that their kratom capsules come in 3 different sizes (10 grams, 20 grams or 40 grams) and their kratom powder comes in 15 grams, 30 grams or 60 grams.

$9.95 is a baseline price for 10 grams of kratom powder, although most (not all) kratom vendors offer 28-30 grams as their minimum amount of kratom powder.

WHAT ARE PEOPLE SAYING?

Nothing. After hours of searching social media and related websites, I was unable to turn up a single comment about Mystical Kratom. There were countless threads on Reddit regarding Kratom Mystic, but not a one when it came to this questionable brand.

THINGS TO CONSIDER BEFORE BUYING MYSTICAL KRATOM

Considering the limited sources for Mystical Kratom and the lack of a company website, it is not beyond the realm of possibility for this company to have gone out of business. If this were the case, it is also quite plausible that the remaining kratom products offered online are quite old and, therefore, substandard.

Mystical Kratom’s packaging offers no information about dosage or sourcing. Their bottles do not carry warning labels or money back guarantees. For these reasons, it is ill-advised to consider purchasing or burning their kratom powder.

SHOP AROUND

With hundreds of kratom vendors on the market, it’s silly to think that there would be any reason for you to waste your time on such a shoddy brand. When you’re thinking about buying kratom online, be sure to join some forums and see what people are talking about.

Reddit is an excellent place to read about users’ past experiences with vendors and to get the latest recommendations. Other sites like I Love Kratom let you know if a prospective brand is being sold by a trusted kratom vendor.

When people ask me about where to look for legit quality kratom online, I always refer them to my top five kratom vendors:

  • Gaia Ethnobotanical
  • Coastline Kratom
  • Kats Botanicals
  • Kraken Kratom
  • Pharmacy Dropout

These are independently-owned entities who care about their customers and the quality of their products. They offer detailed information about each of their kratom strains and will refund your money if you are not satisfied with your experience.

BOTTOM LINE

It’s easy to become cynical with so many phony kratom brands popping up, but thankfully the professionals outnumber the scammers. When shopping for kratom, remember to look for transparency, guarantees, dedicated customer service and customer incentives. Be safe, be smart and be well.

Bob Freville
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