As an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church I know all too well the legal loopholes that a so-called man of the cloth can enjoy. There are a lot of perks to being ordained. Those who run a ministry may be exempt from paying taxes, serving jury duty and many other hassles that society throws at us.
It was only a matter of time before someone turned kratom into a thing of worship. And what better way to protect your right to possess and share kratom leaf than to start a church?
Enter the Flower of Life Healing Ministries and their Garden of the Ancients gift shop. This Austin-based church is a self-described “fully inclusive, contemplative East-West ecumenical, community and fellowship.” But that’s not all they are.
Flower of Life Healing Ministries’ Garden of the Ancients gift shop is an herb emporium and nursery located 15 miles from downtown Austin in the heart of Texas. They sell a variety of herbs and essential oils, but their main focus is kratom, in powder, capsule and tincture form.
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Garden of the Ancients Kratom is bountiful with a host of options available from Commercial Bali, Indonesian Stem and Vein and Malaysian Maeng Da to Premium Indo, Red Vein Thai and Super Green Malaysian.
Garden of the Ancients also offers Amanita Muscaria, Cacti, Holy Basil, Skullcap, Succulents, Wild Lettuce, Wormwood and a number of essential oils.
As a wholesale brand, Garden of the Ancients is pretty reasonable. 60 counts of their kratom capsules go for $35.29 and a 150 count sells for $70.57. This is good news for proprietors, but it’s not necessarily the best choice for the casual kratom enthusiast.
A single ounce of kratom powder ranges from an affordable $8.40 (Indonesian Stem and Vein) to an astronomical $33.60 (Super Green Malay). Granted, there are some industry standard prices as well (,i.e. $30.24 for 4 ounces of Indo), but most experienced consumers will agree that $381.02 for a pound of Maeng Da is pure insanity.
No coupons are currently available, but it is not uncommon for them to feature discount codes on their store page.
The locals have taken to Garden of the Ancients like a hog to truffles. “I go every month/month and a half,” one user writes. “It’s out in the country but not too hard to get to…The employees are really friendly and their selection is top-notch. I prefer to get my spices/seasoning there. It’s mostly fun to wander around and look at “Inner Eye Lung Cough Relief” tinctures.
“The owner is a little batshit but he’s hardly ever in there. They prefer cash, not card, and give a discount.”
Another user echoes this sentiment, saying: “I go there often for their different strains of kratom, and their awesome teas. They have a variety of both of those (along with detailed knowledge of the items they carry), tinctures, ear candles, soaps, jewelry, incense, some pipes, books, herbal remedies, and they also have a few green houses.”
Over on Foursquare.com a customer commented on their variety, exclaiming, “So many different types of kratom with their own different properties!”
One user posted to social media, saying, “The staff (and animals) are always so helpful and kind.”
You read that right. The animals are always helpful and kind.
This vendor just begs to be explored if, for no other reason, they sound like one colorful bunch of loons. If consumer reputation is to be believed then this is one kratom brand that will have you preaching like a zealot and boppin’ like a Baptist.
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